Answers · By Sun Yi, creator of the Myth Sandwich
How do I "show, don't tell"?
Short answerShow, don't tell means drawing a picture instead of describing a feeling. When you show a scene, the audience feels like they're right there with you.
Tell vs. Show
- Telling sounds like: "I was bad at managing money, always broke."
- Showing sounds like: "Every time I got paid, I'd take my friends out, spend everything, then eat ramen for two weeks until the next paycheck."
- The second one puts a picture in your head and makes you feel the cycle.
How to Do It
- Start with a time and location so people can picture the scene right away.
- Avoid thought verbs like "I knew," "I realized," "I understood."
- Use present tense when drawing the picture so the audience feels like they're there right now.
In Sun's words
One of the core things I teach in Night Owl Nation is show, don't tell. Most people tell. They describe what happened. They summarize their feelings. And the audience doesn't feel a thing. Here's the difference. You could say: I was bad at managing money, always broke. That's fine. Or you could say: every time I got paid, I'd take my friends out to drinks and dinner, spend everything, and then eat ramen for two weeks waiting for the next paycheck — and then do it all over again. The second one puts a picture in your head. You can see it. You can feel it. That's what a story is supposed to do. Draw a clear picture. Let the audience feel like they're in the room with you. That's the difference between a story that lands and one that doesn't.
▶ Watch Sun explain thisWe talk about 'show don't tell' in Night Owl Nation all the time. But let me show you what it actually means. You could say: 'I was bad at managing money. I was always broke.' That works fine. But watch what happens when you draw the picture instead. 'Every time I got paid, I'd take all my friends out to drinks and dinner. Spend everything. Then for the next two weeks I'd just eat ramen noodles waiting for my next paycheck. And when the paycheck came, I'd do it all over again.' That version hits completely different. You can feel the cycle. You can feel the trap. That's what a real picture does — it creates nuance that people actually feel.
▶ Watch Sun explain thisTry itPick one feeling word from a saved story (like "scared" or "stuck") and rewrite it as a scene with a time, place, and one action the person did.
This answer comes from Sun Yi's Story Bank Library.
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